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Posts Tagged ‘Obsessions’

I can see it, out of the corner of my eye, the pointed graphite tip laughing at me. I’m trying to resist but I know that I won’t be able to think about anything else until I do it. I reach over, and turn the point-side pencil back down so the metallic gleam of its end is back in the light. My pencil cup is perfect again.

 

 

Obsessive compulsive disorder, most of us have a touch of it here and there. Little things we don’t realize we tweak about from how the toilet paper spins off the roll, the way we eat our food to even the way we park our car.

 

 

My compulsions are not as extreme as what you would see televised about the disorder. I don’t have crazy rituals, breathing exercises or constantly fret that someone in my life will die without everything in order. Mostly I find myself centered on organization, hygiene and cleanliness.

 

 

My kitchen is cleaner then most hospital operating rooms, pre-op of course. *shudder* If you opened my pantry you would find each box, can and bag neatly tucked into place where I can clearly see each label. My refrigerator marches in the same militant order. I never reuse plastic wrap after pulling it off the dish once. Just try to find something expired in my house other than what has already been cast into the trash can in the garage. I’m meticulous about the way I cook slicing each vegetable with precision in a geometric fashion.

 

 

I sort my laundry in specific color and fabric piles and couldn’t bear to toss just one white washcloth in with the rest of my soft whites. Determining the correct amount of soap and softener to put in has become a perfected art. My clean clothing is sorted by purpose, style, color and length in my closet and drawers. I can shyly boast an organized undergarment drawer that would put most high-end department stores to shame. You could say that my ever-growing collection of heels could be coordinated easily into a library’s dichotomous key the way I have them arranged.

 

 

Most of my OCD issues perk up at work where I can’t stand to have anything out of order on my desk. Everything has its place and I can tell when someone has been messing around there because something will have moved. I cross out days on the calendar to track the date even though my computer and phone both show the date digitally. My email inbox is sorted into a folder-archiving system and gets cleaned out once a month just because I can’t stand having hundreds of emails staring at me. Everything from the chairs, bulletin boards, filing cabinets to the artificial trees have been perfectly aligned, by yours truly, to fit the room’s composition. It is so bad sometimes that I think my coworkers purposely turn my pencils upside-down and drop paperclips on the floor just because they know I can’t walk by with out fixing it. There is more than likely some monetary value issued between them to torturing me like this.

 

 

Now that I’ve turned that pencil back to global order and written this post, I’m going to have to face what my real reason for procrastinating. Today is Potluck day. Hopefully I made enough cucumber salad for myself because glaring at all the fruit salads, quiches and baked beans, I can’t help but think, who knows what the kitchen looks like where those were made. I don’t even want to think about it. Meh…I’ll eat a big dinner tonight.

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